Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Parish Intern Infomation





TransFormation is a new initiative geared toward young adults 18-35 who feel called to ministry and would like to have an opportunity to pastor a church while further discerning their call. 

Mission
The mission of TransFormation is to make disciples of Jesus Christ by transforming churches into disciple makers while potential pastors are being FORMED as leaders of such churches. Potential pastors, churches, neighborhoods, and the world will be transformed.


Program Description
TPI is geared toward young adults experience, to serve as part-time Parish Interns rotating between five United Methodist congregations in Kokomo, IN. Parish Interns will be discovered for his or her God desire to transform the world and community of Kokomo. The Parish Interns will be developed by working with direct oversight of an Ordained Lead Pastor, Jeff Newton who possesses the same passion. The Parish Interns and the Lead Pastor will work as a team to lead the churches through preaching, teaching, providing pastoral care, and working with the congregations in outreach and evangelism.

Benefits

·         Parish Interns will live at Hope House (large house shared with other interns) with all utilities paid and a food allowance provided.
·         Interns will receive a stipend of $100 per week,
·         Mileage for ministry will be reimbursed at the current IRS rate.
·         Interns will work in ministry at least 15-20 hours per week; some weeks more than others.


Experiences
·         Provided an United Methodist Elder, to serve as a mentor, that will meet monthly  
·         Preach every week on a rotating basis
·         Participate in partner outreach ministries
·         Live the Wesley Way and develop a habit of Spiritual Disciplines
·         Immersion in United Methodist theology doctrine and polity
·         Experience growth in their knowledge of leadership principles
·         Experience growth in their leadership skills and abilities
·         Opportunity to discover their gifts and passions
·         Exposure to a broad range of ministries and experiences
·         Become a disciple maker and fruitful leadership developer


Eligibility-preference will be given to those that;

·         Exemplifies and lives a life in Christ
·         Ability to serve for at least 1 year (June 2015- June 2016)
·         At least 18 years old
·         Ability to live is shared community with other Parish Interns
·         Self-Starter with strong time management
·         Reliable transportation
·         Ability to favorably pass a criminal background check
          If you have more questions, would like a tour or would like an     application.  Please call Jeff Newton at 765.461.9618. 

             Overnight accommodations for a tour can be provided. 










Saturday, May 02, 2015

New Initiative


I am very excited about a new initiative in Kokomo that I will be leading called "TransFormation".  First of all I want to be clear that I will be the full-time Executive Director of Kokomo Urban Outreach and will be adding  Lead Pastor of this new initiative.  Officially, I am the Lead Pastor of five United Methodist Churches in Kokomo-- Cassville, Faith, Hillsdale, Parr and Trinity.   In July of 2015, four  parish interns will be joining me to learn, work and help lead the churches. The idea is that young adults who feel a call to ministry will have an experience that will help them "form" their call before going to school.  At the same time, churches will be transformed by focusing on making Disciples of Jesus Christ today as well as in the future as they encourage interns.  The churches will encourage the call of the interns and the interns will encourage the call in the local church.  Please pray for this initiative as I believe that it will impact the Church not only today but into the future too. 

Friday, December 05, 2014

Empty Bowl Project

Empty Bowls is an international grassroots effort to fight hunger and was created by The Imagine Render Group. The basic premise is simple: Children will  create handcrafted bowls to help other children who are hungry. 

On March 6, Rozzi's Catering will have  a simple meal of soup and bread. In exchange for a cash donation, guests are asked to keep a bowl as a reminder of all the empty bowls in the world. The money raised is donated to Kokomo Urban Outreach who is working to end hunger and food insecurity.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Taylor Street Needs

Cook out at Taylor Street
                                                                                   
                                                                                    Volunteer Needs: 
Painting of several rooms
Framing windows
Plumbing at least one restroom, 

Eventually need plumbing in kitchen & 2nd restroom
Hanging bathroom doors with trim
Suspended Ceiling in basement
Hanging closet doors


Finances:
Furnace $6,000
Ceiling   $2,000
Plumbing/Hot Water Heater   $2,000
Finish electrical     $1,000
Doors and Window Frames   $500
Paint  $250


If you can help in any way give me a call on my cellphone  765.461.9618.  We can get materials before money is donated.  Need to complete as soon as possible.   Thanks Jeff


Saturday, April 05, 2014

Breakthrough Outline


Breakthrough partners with those affected by poverty to build connections, develop skills and open doors of opportunity. With the expectation of families becoming self-sufficient.

Breakthrough expected outcomes:
  • Behavioral change
  • Confidence and esteem building
  • Strategic thinking and planning
  • Marketable and transferable employability skills
  • Emotional preparedness for employment
  • At least entry-level employment
  • Experience Success
  • Develop Realistic Plans for Living Independently

Cycles will last four weeks plus personal mentoring and weekly follow-up meetings.  Cycles may be gender specific, centered around a particular job category and/or academic attainment.    Possible job categories:  Construction, car repair, car detail, child care, catering, baking, lawn care, painting, etc.

The pilot program will center around young men 18-30 year olds who have an interest in being a “handyman”.
  • By age 18, 30 percent of black males, 26 percent of Hispanic males and 22 percent of white males have been arrested.
  • By age 23, 49 percent of black males, 44 percent of Hispanic males and 38 percent of white males have been arrested.
  • While the prevalence of arrest increased for females from age 18 to 23, the variation between races was slight. At age 18, arrest rates were 12 percent for white females and 11.8 percent and 11.9 percent for Hispanic and black females, respectively. By age 23, arrest rates were 20 percent for white females and 18 percent and 16 percent for Hispanic and black females, respectively. (http://www.sc.edu/uofsc/announcements/2014/brame_criminology_arrest_study_2014.php#.Uure4_ldWSo) Posted on: 1/6/2014; By Peggy Binette, 803-777-7704  Retrieved Jan. 15, 2014.

What happens if school is, presently, not a viable option?  How do we engage young people especially men earlier?  What tools do young men need to break through the cycle of poverty? How can equip young men with those tools?

Module One:  You don’t know what you don’t know
  1. Orientation  and Passion Experience
  2. Identifying personal assets and resources
  3. Moving between Cultures
  4. Conflict Resolution/dealing with anger
  5. Creating a Game Plan

Module Two:   Standards of Work
  1. Resume/completing job applications
  2. Code of Conduct at Work
  3. Excellence
  4. Humble/Confidence at Work
  5. Time Management: Planning and Prioritizing

Module Three:  Business Side
  1. Planning a job:  Tools, Time, Things
  2. The importance of Keeping Track: Record Keeping
  3. Marketing Tactics that cost very little
  4. Profit/Loss  things you REALLY need for success
5.       Keeping Customers Doing even better: Self-Evaluation of your work

Module Four:  Boot Camp actual job will be assigned and completed using all skill sets.
1.       Sizing up job/planning/shopping
2.       Work
3.       Work
4.       Work
5.       Debrief/Where do we go from here/Check presentations

Cycle is four modules:
First Three Modules: 8AM-12(noon)
Boot Camp: 8 AM-4 PM

Daily Schedule:
8:00-8:30 Homework and previous day review
8:30-9:30  Group Experience
9:30-9:45 Break
9:45-10:00 Debrief Group Experience
10:00 -11:15 Speaker and question
11:15-11:30  Break interaction with speaker
11:30-12:00 Homework Assignment for next day

Homework will be writing or math assignments as applied to handymen.  Homework will take about 45 minutes each day.  There will also be at least one question based on speaker information.
Example:   A box of drywall screws cost 3.98 there are 100 screws in a box.  You will need 20 drywall screws to complete your job, how much does 20 screws cost?
Skill Sets: Reading, writing, math, problem solving, discipline, and confidence.
Group Experience:
Example 1:  Using computers at office desks, each student will watch a different you tube video that has to do with home repairs and then students will gather to explain how to do the job to the others.
Example 2: Use computer to type a list of tools, time and things (material) needed to repair a 5’ x 5’ hole in the wall. Compare answers.
Skill Sets: Computer literacy, reading, writing, math, listening, communication, problem solving, confidence, conflict resolution, and teamwork.
Speaker:  Will speak on topic for day and answer questions, students will take notes.   Homework will include one or two questions based on talk.   Example of a question:  The speaker talked about three tips to use to curb anger.  Which one will you use?  Why?
Skill Sets:  Listening, note taking, writing, communication, strategic thinking, and confidence.
Weekly Feedback:  Includes self-evaluation (three things can do better/three things felt good about), with director evaluation based on homework, participation and commitment to excellence.

Entry Requirements:
  • Fill out application form.
  • Participate in an individual interview with Director.
  • Meet minimum reading and math requirements.
  • Ability to obtain Driver’s License or have transportation to work.
Expectations:
  • NO ABSENCES.  In extreme emergency the director of class will need to be notified in advance of the class.  Extreme emergency will be defined on first day of class. Cannot miss more than one day of class to extreme emergency.  
  • Only one late day permitted.  Must be in seat by 8:00 AM.
  • Must comply with dress,  and behavior standards:  You need to look like ready for a job interview, as speakers, might need help.  If proper clothes are needed they will be provided.
§  Shirts must have a collar no t-shirts with shirts tucked in
§  Jeans are OK as long as they are clean with no holes
§  No hoodies in classroom
§  No sagging
§  Positive attitude
§  Maintain positive ratings on weekly feedback.

Support for students:
Complete all modules with 100% attendance participant will receive $500.
Periodic prizes will be given throughout the course, everything from tools to Grocery Cards.
Homework completion will give better chance to win prizes.

Student Outcomes:
  • Identified outcomes(see above)
  • Possible return to school
  • Possible job placement with established business.
  • Possible job placement in KUO advanced program.
  • Possible owning of own business.

   

Start up Costs:
Laptops/tables/chairs                     1800(funded by Community Foundation)

Budget per cycle base on  5 students
Stipend                  5 x 500                                        2500  (looking for funders)
Daily incentives @ $10.00                                         150 (looking for donors)
Notebooks/Pens/Paper  $15.00 each student        75  (funded by an individual)
Total                                                                             2725    @  5 cycles      $13,625 year





Friday, February 07, 2014

Girl Scouts

The Mission of Girl Scouts is to build girls of courage, confidence and character, who make the world a better place.  Since 2008 Kokomo Urban Outreach has sponsored a Girl Scout Troop.  Over 90 girls, in grades K-12 have been a part of KUO Girl Scout Troop 3033.

The girls have experienced all that Girl Scouts has to offer.  They have earned badges, completed journeys and learned new skills.  They have celebrated Juliette Gordon Low's birthday, Thinking Day and the Girl Scout Anniversary.  The girls have taken field trips within Howard County,and throughout Central Indiana Council and celebrated the 100th Anniversary of Girl Scouting in Washington DC. The Scouts have made crafts, cooked and attended summer camp.  They have learned finances, how to operate a business and leadership skills.

All of this has been made possible with the help of parents and adult volunteers, local churches and cookie sales.  If you are interested in becoming a volunteer or would like to purchase Girl Scout Cookies, please contact Pam Grohman at 765.461.0184.

Boy Scouts

Dear Supporters:

The leadership of Troop 570 seeks to provide excellent opportunities for young boys to become well balanced young men. The process of teaching responsibility, honesty, integrity and all that scouting represents also allows us the privilege of mentoring these young men to rise up out of poverty, educate themselves and use their skills to give back to the community.

Some of the ways the boys of Troop 570 have served our local community is by participating in Scouting for Food canned goods collection, Post Office Food Drive, providing helpful services for retired veterans, policing the Kokomo Heritage Trail and volunteering at Kokomo Urban Outreach in various capacities.
All of these young men come from families who are struggling to survive the demands of everyday living: putting food on the table at least once a day is a major accomplishment.

While these young men all come from families that are extremely under resourced, they are among the first to volunteer to provide much needed help to others in our community.

Scouting develops character, social skills and provides the much needed exposure to positive adult feedback and encouragement that help these young men go the extra mile. All of our activities, summer camps, building projects, etc… are funded by monetary or in kind donations given by groups, individuals or businesses that have a heart for the youth of our community.

We appreciate your consideration to contribute to this worthy cause. Your gift will provide a lasting legacy as you are helping to lay a foundation for a promising future for these young boys.
For those who had outstanding experiences growing up as boy scouts, please help us to share that same opportunity for the next generation.

With sincere thanks,
Billy J. Rood                                       Susan L. Bond – KUO Family Advocate
Scoutmaster Troop 570                         Committee Chair Troop 570

Donations may be sent to:

Kokomo Urban Outreach-Attn: Scouts
1706 S Home Ave
Kokomo, IN  46902

Please insert “Boy Scouts”on your check item line


Saturday, December 07, 2013

Christmas 2013

.... her husband and three children build a strong family.  Colette signed up for Baby University, and she learned that she was her children’s first teacher.  Her son, Blake, attended the KUO preschool, sponsored by Chapel Hill Christian Church; and her daughter, Abby, is part of the KUO Girl Scouts.  Collette’s family have eaten countless meals that you have supplied as she betters herself.  Collette and her family recently, moved out of a public housing apartment and are now renting a large house that will comfortably house her entire family.  The children are going to Upward Basketball because of connections that were made in the community.  They now have Hope!

Kokomo Urban Outreach now has a presence in 32 neighborhoods in Kokomo.  Hundreds of people are given Hope each week.   You provide about 64,000 meals each and every month….768,000 meals a year through  Buddy Bags, food pantries and cooked meals, all of which are supported by you.  Thank you.  

Children are showing improvement at school as parents learn through Baby University that all children are home schooled; they are home way more than they are at school….parents learn to keep teaching.  Because children have food, they are healthier. Because of donated clothing and hygiene supplies, children go to school clean and clean children are less likely to be bullied.  Because of social activities, children are developing a healthy self-esteem.
The impact you are having on the community is incredible, the presence of KUO can be felt all across the city.   Recently a local pastor, made the comment, “I can’t imagine our city without Kokomo Urban Outreach”.   I responded, “God is good!”    To impact our community on this scale it takes all of us—you, me, everyone.   Your end of the year gift will go a long way in impacting our community.

Christmas is all about hope.   Thank you for offering Hope to our neighbors who struggle. As you make decisions about year-end giving,  It is my prayer you will consider supporting Kokomo Urban Outreach. 

Christmas Blessings,

Jeff Newton


Jeff Newton and KUO staff 

Monday, October 07, 2013

Food Stamp Challenge

The food stamp challenge is one of the best ways to learn about the nutrition hurdles that low-income Americans face every day. The Challenge  entails eating on a budget of $4.34 per day day which is the average food stamp allotment in Howard County. 

Since restaurants do not accept food stamps, dollar value-meals and the like are off limits.   Anything taxable can not be purchased with food stamps, which means hot food in a grocery may not be purchased.  


My food stamp challenge week will be Oct. 14-20. Each day I will post what I ate and my thoughts about the day.   Join me.    Let's experience this together.  If you want to accept the challenge put your first name in the comment line below.  Drop me a line in the comment box or email me at kuodirector@gmail.com.

Be a Hunger Hero





During the month of October Kokomo Urban Outreach is endeavoring to fill the Food Pantries and to help make the community more aware of hunger and low food security. Hunger is defined as suffering from a discomforting sensation that may result in weakness, illness, and/or pain. Many of those who are hungry are children. Kokomo Urban Outreach sees families daily, who suffer from hunger and low and very low food security. According to the Indiana Emergency Food Resource Network web site, low food security is described as “three or more reported indications of food-access problems that resulted in diet quality reduction, but did not substantially affect the quality of food or their normal eating patterns. Very low food security is multiple reported indications of disrupted eating patterns and reduced food intake. In Indiana, 13.5 percent of households were considered to suffer from low food security from 2010-2012.

HUNGER HERO’S ARE NEEDED - Kokomo Urban Outreach is one of several organizations who are members of the Kokomo Food Pantry Network. According to data presented at the Network’s October meeting a total of 1,631 families received food during the month of September. “Kokomo Urban Outreach has provided food to 906 of those families” according to John Martin, Director of the KUO Food Pantries.

In order to serve 900 families, it takes approximately 5,000 pounds of food per week. To get through the month of October, “Hunger Heroes” are being sought to help provide 10,000 pounds of food and $10,000. The KUO food pantries rely on the generous donations of individuals, churches and grocery stores, who are some of our “Hunger Heroes”. Jeff Newton states that “currently fifteen percent of our guests are first time visitors to a Networked Pantry. Unfortunately, because of this increase our resources are severely stretched. The donations are just not coming in fast enough to meet the current demand. However we will do our best to continue to provide for those in need.”

THE HISTORY OF THE KUO PANTRY –Kokomo Urban Outreach has been providing food to families since 2007 when the first Food Pantry was opened. The first pantry was open for just a few hours per week and served approximately 20 families per week. As the food security decreased, creating more demand for food, KUO expanded to meet the needs of Kokomo and Howard County. KUO now has 5 weekly pantry locations which serve approximately 225 families per week.
IT IS EASY TO BE A “HUNGER HERO”
Donations of non-perishable food pantry items may be delivered, during regular business hours, to the following locations:

INDIANA HEARTLAND CREDIT UNION – 319 S. Berkley Road

MCALISTERS Deli – 2020 S. Reed Road – Donations may be made daily, however guests will receive a free tea for 2 food pantry donations EVERY Tuesday

BMO HARRIS
2135 N. Washington
2206 W. Sycamore
2800 S. Reed Road
2825 S. Washington
KEY BANK
221 W. Main St., Suite #2, Greentown
224 N. Main Street
300 E. Southway
1141 E. Hoffer St.
2405 W. Jefferson St.
ORANGE LEAF - 1660 E. Boulevard

PLANET FITNESS – Walmart Plaza

SOLIDARITY FEDERAL COMMUNITY CREDIT UNION - 201 E. Southway Blvd.

KOKOMO URBAN OUTREACH FOOD PANTRY NEEDS

Canned Fruit
Chicken Noodle
Canned Vegetables
Canned Entrée (chili, ravioli, stew)
Toilet Paper
Ramen Noodles
Macaroni & Cheese
Peanut butter
Cereal
Canned Meat (tuna, chicken, spam)
Side Dishes
Toothpaste
Toothbrushes
Feminine Hygiene Items


Sunday, May 26, 2013

Stories of Flood Affected Neighbors


A 92 year old man was reluctant to leave his rented house and all of his belongings. There was mold growing on walls and on his tile floor.  With no family in the area was finally convinced to go to a motel and a niece from Pennsylvanian  took him home with her.   While he escaped with his life he lost everything. 

We just received a thank you note from his niece saying,      " the first thing we did when we got to PA was get him to a doctor.  We caught his pneumonia just in time.  He is doing much better. He wants his own place but we agree it is best for him to stay here with us for now.  We had no idea how bad his house was.  He is very precious to all of us and he will be well taken care of.  Again thank you to Kokomo Urban Outreach and Officer Gunlight   for caring for him.
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One man had just paid off his car, had it parked in front of his house and had no idea that the street was flooding in the middle of the night.  He is not sure what he is going to do.
***********************************************************************
A paraplegic was in her hospital bed during the flood.  The water  rushed across her in the middle of the night. She lost here electric bed an her electric wheel chair. For four weeks she slept on a futon mattress on the floor.   She is now in the hospital because flood waters gave her an infection.  Good News:  Homeland Security purchased a bed and wheel chair for her and she will be moving in with family members. 
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Churches like Fresh Start, First Congregational Church and others were first on the scene after the flood water receded helping families carry out wet furniture, carpet etc.    Thanks church for being the Hands and Feet of Jesus.
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Travis Taflinger of Bridges Outreach has spent countless hours in the homes of flood affected families, not only mucking out basements but listening and praying.
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A ten year old boy and his mom and dad came to the Flood Recovery Center to get some clothes for the boy.  They did not know about the Center, the boy had no clothes.  He was wearing a pair of his dad's jeans, holding them up with his hands as he tried to walk without them falling down.  He had not been to school for three weeks.  Because of the community's generosity the young man has some clothing and went back to school.

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I could go on and on.  Deanna a KUO staff person did a great job in organizing and helping our neighbors.  If you want to hear more stories just ask her.   Please keep all flood affected families in your prayers.  Just because the water is gone and things look good on the outside of a house, there is still a great deal of damage on the inside both with physical structures and spirituality. 




Friday, May 24, 2013

Flood Recovery Center Final Report

Flood Recovery Center Report
 May 24, 2013

 Special Thanks to the following for in-kind donations: American Party Time, First Congregational Church, Kokomo Rescue Mission, Salvation Army, Center Township Trustee, Merrill Brothers, Convoy of Hope, Clifford Signs, Grace UMC, Doug Bray Select Equipment, Red Cross, Motel 6, Kokomo Housing Authority, RD Phillips, Morning Star, Sears, JC Penny. Value approx. $60,000-75,000

 Other In-Kind donations(furniture, clothing, toys, household items etc) from individuals valued at approx. $150,000 

 Over 300 volunteers provided 887 hours valued at over $18,000.

 Kokomo Urban Outreach provided 430 staff hours valued at approx. $4,800.

 Nearly 3 tons of food was distributed at Center, about 4 tons of food donated to Center.  (No food was used from Post Office Drive at the Center) 

The Flood Recovery Center staff stood by and walked with  127 families representing 508 people. 

KUO has received a bit over $7,000 from local churches for immediate flood relief. With those funds KUO provided: Gas Cards, Grocery Gift Cards, Fast Food Cards, about 77 nights and extended night stays in Motels( while working with families to find other shelter), application fees for apartments, and utility deposits. 

 Right at a quarter of a million dollars was donated both with in-kind gifts and cash. THANK YOU!!!!!!

Families now will go through case-management to see if needs can be met.

United Methodist Flood Grant Details



·        INVOAD Casework will help determine family needs, however, KUO has total control of Grant Funds;

·        funds will be issued to and administered by Kokomo Urban Outreach ("KUO");

·        funds may be used for any disaster related repair, supply or equipment for the primary residence of KUO approved homeowners including, but not limited to drywall, water heaters, furnaces;

·      KUO must confirm with the local taxing authorities that all property taxes are paid current prior to funding improvements or supplies for said property;

·        KUO will make best effort to record and report to the INUMC Disaster Response Team the number of families/ homeowners benefitted through these grant dollars.



Thursday, October 11, 2012

Energy Audit Details

ENERGIZING INDIANA and KOKOMO URBAN OUTREACH
Together we will do powerful things!


Why is an Assessment Helpful?
An Assessment is a smart approach to improve the comfort of your home.  Home Energy Assessments help you raise your home's performance, lower energy bills, improve in-home air quality and increase your home's value.

What is included?
Energy Advisors will analyze your energy use and recommend low-cost energy-saving measures.  Advisors will assess the heating, ventilation and air-conditioning systems in your home, as well as check insulation levels, window seals and appliance efficiency.

What you will receive!
A comprehensive report detailing what can be done to start saving energy and make your home more comfortable will be provided immediately.  The following items* will be installed or provided: CFL bulbs, Low-flow faucet aerators, low-flow shower heads and a water heater insulation wrap for electric water heaters.
Weatherization services are also available for income-qualified homeowners.
*some limits apply.

Who may apply?
Individuals who pay utilities to one of the following energy providers (Duke Energy, IMPA, Indiana Michigan Power, IPL, NIPSCO, Vectren) may apply.  It doesn't matter if you are a homeowner or a renter.  If you live in a single-family home, duplex, triplex, quadplex or mobile home you qualify.  You do not have to live in Kokomo to receive an Energy Assessment.

How does this support Kokomo Urban Outreach?
For every home enrolled through KUO that completes the assessment, KUO will received $25.

Signing Up is Easy!
Simply follow this link https://energizingindiana.com/kokomourbanoutreach/ and complete the online form.  You will then receive a phone call from Energizing Indiana to schedule your appointment.

IT IS EASY!
THERE IS NO COST!
YOU ARE HELPING KOKOMO URBAN OUTREACH!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Adult Bulling

Adult Bulling
  Most of the children we work with are bullied on a regular basis.  We offer them tools to help them to cope. While childhood bullying is very serious, adult bulling is an ongoing issue.   Adult bullying can happen in marriage, at work, in the community and even in church.  I hope this will give you some tools on how to cope  (like a bee the following information has been “picked up” from many sources and placed here).
Adult bullies are usually, narcissistic.  Narcissistic people  are self-centered with  a grandiose sense of self-importance.  They are preoccupied with success, power, brilliance and/or their beauty.  A narcissist  requires excessive admiration, lacks empathy and humility and are rarely gracious.  

The adult bully is invariably narcissistic and  tend to attack when their ego is threatened. Pushing their face into the truth doesn't seem to help, just makes them more aggressive.  As for compassion, there isn't much.  Everyone who does not agree with or is an obstacle to the bully, are exceptionally stupid, socially inept, or completely incompetent.

Leaders  who bully will often display the following characteristics:

·roles of staff are continuously changed to keep everyone guessing
·loyalty is demanded often with the words “do you trust me”
·jealously and envy of the bully is apparent to everyone except the bully
·invites you to informal meetings which turn out to be disciplinary hearings
·encourages you to feel guilty and to believe you are always the one at fault
·blames others for errors
·makes unreasonable demands
·criticizes the work ability of others
·threatens and insults others
·yells and screams
·steals credit for other’s work


Bullies target people:
·         Who are too good at their job (makes bully look bad)
·         Who are popular with people
·         Who are experts to whom people come to for advice, getting more attention than the bully
·         Who have integrity, morals and values

Tips to cope with Bullies:
·         Don’t feed the beast.  Stay calm.
·         Walk away from confrontations
·         If you can’t walk away Look at him/her calmly and squarely in the eye, and don’t interrupt as they vent on you. After they finish, pause and say, “I’m sorry, but my mind wandered (which you both know is clearly untrue) while you were talking. All I heard was that you’re upset about something and would like me to do something about it. Please tell me again exactly what’s troubling you because I don’t want to do the wrong thing, and I need your input on how to do it without it taking away from other things I’m supposed to be doing.”  Most bullies are better at venting than they are at solving and won’t be prepared for a fair and reasonable request. Instead, your bully will get the clear message that they cannot push you into rage or fear and force you to give in. They’ll probably look at you for a moment just to make sure that they can’t find another way to run you over, then will  go bully someone else.
Signs that you are working with a bully
·         They know what is best
·         They think they have nothing to learn
·         They believe they are more important than others
·         Everyone is a pawn in their game
·         Their excuses, excuse
·         Their rules, rule
·         They contradict themselves, change stories and then deny it.

·         They will keep asking you over and over “Do you trust me”  they want your full allegiance. A person who is genuine in what they say and do very rarely needs to ask you to trust them. find that the people I trust never have to ask it of me, and that I never have to ask it of them. 

Monday, August 20, 2012

*Who Needs the Charmin?

The children rushed up the stairs, as they were so excited to come to their first session of sidewalk Sunday school of the new year. The children all sit down on the floor, the rules of sidewalk Sunday school are reviewed. Rule number one: boys on one side and girls on the other. Rule number two: sit on your pockets. Rule number three: when an adult, counts to three everyone’s quiet. That night, about 30 kids came into the room. We sang some songs, told stories about Jesus, had a prayer time and played a game. A 10-year-old boy won the game. We went to the prize bucket that was at the front of the room to select a prize. When he got there, there were no prizes in the bucket. The bucket was empty. I had forgotten to put the prizes there. I told him that when everybody was gone we would go downstairs to the janitor’s closet where he could pick a prize. When we got down to the janitor’s closet, the boy looked up and saw toilet tissue all across the top shelf. He asked if he could have some toilet tissue instead, so I put tissue in a bag and gave it to him and then invited him to go ahead and pick out a prize. He said, “No, this is my prize. This is all my family needs.”

During the next week I went to visit this young man’s mother and asked what the deal was with the toilet tissue. I really didn’t know. She told me that she was on food stamps. With food stamps you can buy only food. You can’t buy soap, toilet tissue, shampoo, toothpaste, or anything else--- only food. I asked her what she did for toilet tissue. She explained when she gets to the end of the month it is difficult because she’s out of money. “What I do“ she said, “ is I send my son to school. I tell him never to steal, but when he goes to lunch, he should take two napkins. I tell him that every child deserves two napkins one to clean his face and his hands and the other goes into his pocket. When he comes home from school, I take the napkin out of his pocket and I rip it in thirds. I give a third to his brother, I give him a third and I keep a third. That’s how we get through.”

 When I left the house, I learned something about myself and about the way I grew up. We always had toilet tissue in our home; we never worried about that. I learned that day that too many people have to worry about little things in life. I’m so blessed! 

*Excerpted from, Life on the Porch,  all rights reserved  Jeff Newton, copy write, 2012  pages 38-39.